I’m going to give my snarky opinion of the movie v. television series casting and see how you guys feel about the casting as well. At this point, I’m just doing the club but there’s potential for secondary characters! Let’s see who wins-show or movie?
By the way, this makes me wish I was a game programmer because then I could make something like this to go along with the snark:
Too good to be true, no?
Up first: Everyone's favorite badass, Kristy Thomas.
I think most people agree with me on this one: Even as a kid I thought Schuyler Fisk was HORRIBLY miscast as Kristy Thomas. I wanted to see the show Kristy! Movie Kristy had a voice so high-pitched glassware in China break every time a kid pops the VHS or DVD of this sucker in. It’s not the reddish hair that bothers me, but the fact that she’s not authoritative at all, looks younger than thirteen, and is simply not believable as head of the club-does this girl look like she started ANYTHING? Like anybody would listen to her? The outfits they give her make her look like a bullied kid on the playground, not a bully. Avriel Hillman, in my opinion, is the best cast on the TV show- Kristy at her best and who I picture when I think of Kristy Thomas. Is she an Oscar worthy actress? God, no. But I’d take her over Schuyler anytime. I’d even take her fanny pack over anything movie Kristy wears. And I hate fanny packs.
Also, if this Kristy had been in the movie, she would have been pounding her dad in the dirt for abandoning her again, not running away sobbing the carnival. I like to picture her stealing the fake shotgun from the gamestands and chasing Patrick down. Or putting sugar in the gas tank of his creeper van.
Winner: Tv Show!
Next: Our favorite dummy, Claudia Kishi!
Jeni F. Winslow
Winner: TV show!
Next up: Stacey McGill, our fave streetwalker!
Show Stacey is gorgeous, but I’m sorry- she just doesn’t say Stacey at all to me. That permanent grin and “nice girl” demeanor is not our stank Stacey. I don’t see it as believable at all that she’s supposed to be a street smart (Manhattan street smart, that is) New Yorker. She looks so delicate that she’ll get kidnapped right off the Subway or give her allowance money to someone who asks. Movie Stacey looks like I envision Stacey to look. I could believe that she spends a lot of time shopping and talking about boys whereas TV Stacey seems too innocent. I give my vote to Bre Blair.
Next up: Our lovely hidden bitchmeister, Mary Anne Spier!
Even though Rachel Leigh Cook has the hair and innocent look down perfectly, show MA’s features actually make me think MA. Even if she is quite tall and has very light hair. Also, I like the relationship between show MA and Dawn better, even if they fight a lot. I could believe them as friends and stepsisters wheras in the movie, they felt like strangers chatting on the bus with how disconnected they were. Many are going to disagree with me, but I pick show MA.
Rachel Leigh Cook
Rachel Leigh Cook
Winner: TV show!
Next up: Our favorite hippie hypocrite, it's Dawn Schafer!
I loved Larisa Oleynik when I was a kid, guys. Alex Mack, 10 Things I Hate About You, hello! But even then I found her to be so out of place in this movie. She just looks like a wannabe hippie and doesn’t have any of that bitchface we “love” about Dawn on here. I think if Alan Gray really had a crush on Dawn (which is inexplicable since he threw spaghetti and meatballs *snicker* on her in that one book but is shown to be a harmless runt in the movie) she would have a little more sass to throw at him than standing there being weirded out. She has the personality of a toothpick in the movie no matter how much they tried to hippie her up with a braid in her hair and seeds for dinner. Wow, you wild thang! Melissa Chasse may be whiny, but that’s closer to Dawn. She also looks more like Dawn when her hair’s not fucked up.
Winner: TV Show!
Up Next: Our Fave Punching Bag, Mallory Pike!
Stacy Linn RamsowerOh, Lord. I’ve seen every description under the sun for these girls. One of my favorites says that Mallory looks “suitably unfortunate” hahaha. As far as I remember, neither Mallory does much at all. I think movie Mallory looks more convincing as Mallory (even with the dumpy clothes they gave her), but she has absolute no chemistry with Jessi, who’s supposed to be her best friend. I’ll get to that in a minute. So since both just stand there to get dumped on (like in the movie when they say “yay!” when she gets cake and then glare when it melts), I’m going to call a draw.
Up next: Wangsty Jessi!
If any character is more abused than Mallory, it’s Jessi. First off, in the movie she looks like she should be being baby-sat. I imdb-ed up the actress and unless they filmed the movie RIGHT before releasing it, then she was probably still 9. That’s right- NINE GODDAMN YEARS OLD. Because I would trust my children with someone that age.9 is even too young in the magical land of Stoneybrook! Perhaps that’s why she and Mallory don’t seem a good match- the actress playing Mallory was probably about twelve. The movie tries desperately to throw her personality trait out there and she dances in the street; Movie, Jessi was a dancer in the books not an asshat. Minus points off for when she neglects David Michael, who looks like he actually needs help, to go find some girl’s imaginary friend. Show Jessi wins by a landslide, even if she probably doesn’t dance a snit. She and Mallory also have good chemistry, at the very least, like when they run around town in doofy sunglasses.
Does not exist in the movie and I don’t think she does in the show, either. It’s been years, correct me if I’m wrong!
Does not exist in either format because her character had not yet been created!
Logan in the closet Bruno!
Austin O'BrienOh, jeez. Movie Logan is horribly miscast but TV Logan is just as laughable even if he’s actually blond. One southern sounding word for every five hundred non-southern words? I’m going to hunt down clips to compare them. *deliberates* Movie Logan looks wayyyy too old for MA. In the stable scene he looks like a pedophile around young girls lmao. But he stands there like a weakling when Cokie is being rude to his girlfriend and holds a riding hat and shakes like she just threatened to cut off his wang while he was sleeping. It’s pretty hilarious and as much as I love teasing Logan about femininity, he is definitely more assertive in the books. Show Logan just seems better to me, even if his accent fails. Way better than movie guy’s attempt. Also, props for some actually cute dialogue between them rather than that awkward kiss in front of a bunch of kids in the movie as Logan does nothing about Cokie being mean to his girlfriend and attempting to ask him out. "I didn't say yes!" Say no, you girly man!
Pikachu-er, Logan from the show, I choose you!
Winner: TV Show!
So let’s tally it up: And the winner from my perspective is…
Agree, disagree? We all know comments can be just as epic as snarks so show me your analyses!