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Little Sister #99: Karen's Big City Mystery - Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Dissecting the unintentional hilarity of The Baby-sitters Club.

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Little Sister #99: Karen's Big City Mystery [Dec. 22nd, 2010|08:47 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!
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[lucysanchez90]
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[Current Mood |apatheticapathetic]


My first snark! I've been itching to attempt one since I recently came into a big damn box full of BSC and BSCLS's. (Also Sweet Valley High and American Girls. But there are no snark communities for them, as far as I know) So I'm warming up my snarkitude with a truly awful little Sister book that has the cajones to call itself a mystery.

 (Onward)


Not a horrible cover. As you can see, it includes a picture of Karen actually looking like a seven year old, peering around a corner with a camera. To be honest, if the actual book were half as good as the cover, I'd be cooler with it. But it's not, so here we are.

CHAPTER 1

We start off with Karen packing to visit her Little House family in Chicago. Not sure what they're doing there, so right now I'm forced to assume they fled in the night, and Karen finally found them. She has three suitcases, one of toys, one of sheets and towels, and one of clothes. She thinks she still needs another.

Kristy walks in, no doubt smelling Karen's unease, and takes over Karen's packing. Karen informs us that Kristy is her stepsister, and that she will tell us about her double life later. Yippee.

Kristy helps Karen go down to one suitcase, by tossing the sheets and towels, slimming down the wardrobe, and taking only three books and a couple toys. As the mother of an eight year old, I have to raise my eyebrow at this last one. That's not going to occupy her long. I'm sure Lisa will be super thankful to Kristy for this.

So as Karen finishes her packing, she wonders how her big house family will ever survive without her. You know, because she spent every waking moment there before the Engals jumped ship.

Nancy and Hannie have come over to say goodbye. Nancy says that she'll take care of Hannie while Karen's gone. Oh jeez, aren't they a little young for the lesbian undertones? At that age ALL girls think boys are yucky, for pete's sake. Over dinner, Karen ponders who will do her chores while she's gone. Kristy and Emily Michelle chime in, no doubt terrified that she might change her mind about leaving.

The next day, Watson and Kristy drive Karen to the airport, put her ass on the plane, and breathe a sigh of relief.

CHAPTER 2

This is a second chapter. You all know what this entails. As such, to spare my sanity and yours, I'm going to skip the first few pages of this chapter. Karen's a two-two, lets leave it at that.

Oh but I got the answer to my question. The little house family moved to Chicago because Seth took a job for six months there. Boom. Mystery solved.

While on the plane, Karen takes a nap, eats a snack, and pesters her neighbor. He has been on a business trip to New York. Karen, who has been to New York ZOMGSOMANYTIMES!!!11! Starts telling him all about the city, but because Karen can only know what Anne (or more precisly Gabrielle Charbonnet) knows, Mr. Business Trip quickly gets bored, and falls asleep.

The plane soon lands, and the flight attendant escorts Karen from the plane. She is dropped off to her little house family.

CHAPTER 3

The chapter begins with Karen describing her family's apartment. We're introduced to Donald the Doorman.
They take the elevator to the fifth floor, and open the door to the apartment.

Rocky, obviously sensing Karen's presence, tries to make a break for it. Seth stops him, and tells Karen that Rocky will try to escape when ever the door is opened, and to prevent it at all costs. I'm sure this plot point will never be revisited...

Once inside, Karen reveals that she comes bearing gifts. For Lisa, a can of homemade cookies, for Seth, a picture frame with a picture of her holding a baseball glove she caught while fishing. (I have to admit, that is kind of cute) and for Andrew, a stamping kit.

After Seth leaves for work,  Lisa and Andrew show Karen around the neighbor hood. Karen is shocked to find that her family hasn't been sitting in solitude for the last few months, and have made friends while in Chicago. She frets that this might mean they will not return to Connecticut. Lisa reassures her that they will return when Seth's job is over, since there isn't much point in staying now that Karen has found them.

They have dinner, and Karen goes to bed. She says that she is happy to hear Lisa's voice in the next room. Because at the Big House, the only thing she hears is Charlie and his lady of the week getting funky.   The ghost of Ben Brewer.

And so ends the phenomenally boring first three chapters of this book. Update soon. Thank you for reading.
 EDIT: Can someone help me with the Livejournal cut? The damn thing won't work!
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: chromde
2010-12-23 03:29 am (UTC)
Actually, there does exist a SVH snark comm, 1bruce1. :)

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[User Picture]From: bookwormsarah
2010-12-23 09:17 am (UTC)
Oh yes, 1bruce1 is fantastic.
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[User Picture]From: glitterberrys
2010-12-23 08:41 pm (UTC)
Thirding the recommendation, it's freaking hilarious and awesome :)
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[User Picture]From: thtsgoodsquishy
2010-12-23 03:51 am (UTC)
For the LJ cut, did you put < /lj-cut > (no spaces) after all your text? And are you in rich text or html? If you're in rich text, that might be it. (Caveat: I don't use it, so I don't know for sure.)
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[User Picture]From: eurohackie
2010-12-23 03:59 am (UTC)
EDIT: Can someone help me with the Livejournal cut? The damn thing won't work!

http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=75
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[User Picture]From: author_by_night
2010-12-23 12:29 pm (UTC)
Are you using Rich Cut format with HTML stuff? That always messes it up - you should use one or the other.

- Moddy Clause :P
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[User Picture]From: kakeochi_umai
2010-12-23 10:56 pm (UTC)
Kristy walks in, no doubt smelling Karen's unease, and takes over Karen's packing.
"Buzz told you what to pack, cheekface: toilet paper and water. You're what the French call les incompetents."

she will tell us about her double life later.
She's involved in Seth and Lisa's parties? Perhaps a reprise of her flower girl role, except the basket has...something else in it?

That's not going to occupy her long. I'm sure Lisa will be super thankful to Kristy for this.
And this is no ordinary seven-year-old, either. Poor, poor Lisa.

Nancy says that she'll take care of Hannie while Karen's gone. Oh jeez, aren't they a little young for the lesbian undertones?
We have a tag for that! *adds*
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From: lucysanchez90
2010-12-23 11:46 pm (UTC)
LOL, no. She just puts on a bad wig, and somehow manages to fool people into thinking she's a popstar. Makes her seem even more evil, doesn't it?
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[User Picture]From: thesunflwr
2010-12-26 08:14 pm (UTC)
Nah, I think about those things, too. Probably because I live vaguely around Where Stoneybrook Probably Is Supposed To Be If It Were Real...

I'm thinking that they would indeed fly out of New York, because Stoneybrook is supposedly close to Stamford (Fairfield County), and it's is a really long haul from here to CT's Bradley airport.

Then again, sometimes it's worth it to go all that way to Bradley rather than deal with parking at JFK, delays over the bridge, tolls, etc. Ugh, and going through all that with a Karen Brewer in tow, too? No fun.
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From: jiaren_shadow
2011-03-13 02:13 am (UTC)
Since Stoneybrook is supposedly close to Stamford, they'd probably go to New York and fly out of LaGuardia, but Westchester County Airport is definitely an option because it's super close. Like 40 minutes away as opposed to the 2 hours it takes to get to LaGuardia when you factor in traffic.
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[User Picture]From: glitterberrys
2010-12-27 10:53 am (UTC)
...to be fair, if Karen was your kid, wouldn't you do the same thing? ;) I feel bad for Andrew, though, everyone screws him over.
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[User Picture]From: adamant_turtle
2011-01-14 07:40 pm (UTC)
She has three suitcases, one of toys, one of sheets and towels, and one of clothes. She thinks she still needs another.

I'm sorry, but what seven-year-old would think of packing sheets and towels, even if they were necessary somewhere (like a rented beach house) but especially when going to visit her own parents??
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[User Picture]From: promisemewings
2011-01-20 02:45 am (UTC)
The little house family moved to Chicago because Seth took a job for six months there.

WOAH WOAH, hold the phone....Watson and Elizabeth agreed to take on KAREN for SIX MONTHS?!

Oh my God, I think I would shoot my brains out after the first WEEK.
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