I always wanted to read this book. When I did get it, I read it in less than an hour. This is my first snark, so please be gentle.
Chapter 1: Abby is taking a science test. The teacher, Ms. Gonzalez is glaring at her because Abby is tapping her nails on her desk. Abby's like, Whatever, bitch. Yeah, Abby, because other kids might really want to listen to you tapping your nails on your desk when they're trying to concentrate. The ghostwriter, Suzanne Weyn really wasted no time in telling us about Abby, dead father, allergies, sports, blah blah blah. Just then there's an accounment on the p.a. system: Eighth-grade classes have canceled for the next two peroids. Abby cheers, Ms. Gonzalez frowns. Classes have been canceled because there is a health test for the students: hearing, eye test and scoliosis check. Abby goes to the gym and flips her shit because she doesn't see her twin, Anna.
For a moment, I worried. Would she miss being checked?
Nah, I wouldn't worry about that. If she does, she's not missing out on anything. I always hated it when we had health checks at my school.
It didn't really matter, though. As I mentioned, she already wears contacts or glasses. We know her hearing is fine--better than fine. All she has to do is hear a note to be able to play it. And I seriously doubted she had--what was it Ms. Gonzalez had said?--scoliosis.
Hmmm, FORESHADOW FORESHADOW!
After Abby's hearing and seeing turns out to be fine, she goes to the girls' locker room for the scoliosis check.
The woman testing her, pokes at her spine and shoulder blades. Then she asks Abby to lower her right shoulder. Then she tells her to breathe deeply and makes her back as straight as she can.
"Press your hands together and lean forward, please," the woman requested.
I did, and she ran her hand along my spine again. As I hung there, bent over, it suddenly occured to me that I had only seen a few other kids leaning forward.
Maybe I just hadn't been paying attention.
The woman asks Abby a few questions and then gives her a note for her to show to her parents.
"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice climbing higher. "Do you think I have scoliosis?"
"I don't know for sure," she said calmly. "It's merely a recommendation that you have a more thorough exam."
"But I probably don't have it, right?"
"I'm not an orthopedist, Abby," she said, checking the printout on the clipboard for my name. "My job is to perform tests and recommend further testing if I think it's needed."
"Oh...well...I...no," I sputtered, too upset to talk clearly. "They can test all they want, but...but...I'm fine."
The woman glanced over my shoulder and I could tell that she wanted to test the next person in line. In a daze, I moved away, out into the gym, my heart thundering like a car race engine.
Further testing. I didn't like the sound of the that one bit.
BAHAHAHA! Abby is such a spaz. Scoliosis isn't the end of the world anyway. She needs to take a chill pill the size of the iceberg that sank the Titanic.
Chapter 2: We get the usual chapter 2 descriptions.
Claudia is definitely cool. In fact, I'd say all my BSC pals rate high on my personal Abby Cool-Meter, but in very different ways.
For instance, Claudia scores a ten (on a scale of one to ten) for creativity. She's very artistic and very original. The wild outfits she wears are her own creations. That day she had on multicolored, tie-dyed painter's overalls she'd dyed herself over a blue, hand-beaded, long-sleeved shirt. Five colorful, bead-studded papier-mache bracelets clattered softly on her wrist whenever she moved her arm.
What 13-year old wears overalls? And can you really make bracelets out of papier-mache?
"Where is everybody?" Kristy complained from her seat in Claudia's director chair.
"It's not even five-thirty," I said, glancing at Claud's digital clock.
"It's five twenty-eight," Kristy countered, frowning. "They have exactly two minutes left."
Kristy and that clock! She demands that everyone arrive by the stroke of five-thirty. If you're even a minute late, you get the Look from Kristy. You know that expression, "If looks could kill..."? Kristy's Look probably could.
Calm down, K-Ron. This is isn't school where you'll marked tardy.
It gets better when Mal and Jessi arrive:
"Five thirty-one! Forgive us! Forgive us! We tried! Really!" A girl with thick, curly auburn hair threw herself to her knees in front of Kristy, her hands clasped together. Her glasses slid down her nose as she begged Kristy to give her a break. "I was walking Pow and he ran after a cat," Mallory Pike explained. "Jessi was with me."
I think some of the club fundage should be used for therapy. Other that, there isn't really anything interesting that happens in Chapter 2, except that K-Ron has another one of her dumb ideas but she's going to wait to share.
Abby gets home and Anna tells her that she looks awful. RELAX, Abby. Just then Mrs. Stevenson walks in. Abby gives her the note at once and Mrs. S is pretty calm about and says that they'll take Abby to get an exam. Abby thinks that Mrs. S is acting as if this is the same as having the car fixed or the furnace repaired. Calm the fuck down, Abby. Doctor appointments really are no bigger deals than having the car fixed or the furnace repaired. Anna tells their mother that she got a note, too and Abby wonders why Anna isn't more upset. Uh, maybe because Anna isn't a spaz like you?
"Why aren't you guys more upset?" I cried, tossing my hands up in the air. "What does this mean? I never even heard of it before! What does it do to your back? How did this happen?"
Abby nearly starts crying when her mom says that she may have to wear a brace.
"We're not doomed," Anna said, shaking her head. "You're so overdramatic sometimes, Abby."
Thank you, Anna.
In the end, Abby calms down a little a bit and thinks it will all be okay because she and Anna are both twins and will go through it together.
Yeah, whatever Abby. Next up, boring sub-plot and the OMG BACK DOCTOR! ABBY AND ANNA WILL BOTH DIE!