LeslieBen by nuv0le_rapide

Spambots/spam Thread

Apparently we are getting a lot of spam... I apologize for not catching it.

In the meantime, if you get any spam, please let the mods know instead of deleting so we can report it. You can actually report it to us in this thread for now.

EDIT 1: As a temporary measure (I hope), I have set a recaptcha requirement for all non-members who post comments. I hate to do this because I realize recaptcha can be problematic for some people (myself included, honestly), but hopefully it'll be very temporary I tested this one and it didn't work, so instead, all non-member comments will be screened for now, as a temporary measure. Please let me know if this causes anyone major problems. 
LeslieBen by nuv0le_rapide

Netflix Series Discussion

Want to discuss the Netflix series? Here is the space to do so! PLEASE mark the top of your post for whichever episodes you're spoiling or discussing, although each episode is pretty by the book, though there are some twists and diversions. (Which I like. Let's just say I get why they set the show now and not in the 90's, even though part of me was going "wait, where are the masks? What happened to social distancing?" LOL.)

Oh, and feel free to do or link to your own recaps! We're just taking a detour from the usual snark in this post. And don't forget to tell your friends about us! This is a great opportunity to rekindle all the snarky goodness. With love.

ETA: I created an easier system. See comments. Note that spoilers may still be visible, so read with caution and scroll liberally if you're spoiler sensitive.
LeslieBen by nuv0le_rapide

Wakey wakey...?

So as people on the Facebook community have said, and I'm sure everyone's felt, bsc_snark on both DW and LJ have been very quiet as of late.

I'll own up to some responsibility. I became a moderator eleven years ago, almost twelve. I was still in college, and honestly, I think I was... maybe a little more engaged in the snarkier aspects of the internet than I am now, reading Cleolinda ALL the time, binging Nostalgia Critic videos, etc. I suspect that's how it is with a lot of you. I'm not as there as I used to be, especially as my life went to shit a few years ago, and it took me a while to come back from that. Now I'm very busy for other reasons.  That being said, I am very much still interested in analyzing literature, including books  I liked as a kid. (And still have a little bit of love for, deep down.) I also still love good snark.  And honestly, I love this community.  

So my question is this: Is there anything that would bolster your involvement here? Let joykilldrama and I know, either privately or in the comments. 

Karen's New Teacher Snark- ch 6-11

Chapter 6- Karen's New Teacher (finally some classroom management) 

On Wednesdays, we wear pink. Jk. On Wednesdays, Lisa dives Karen and Nance to school. They tiptoe down the hall to their classroom to find a lady in gray clothes and gray hair. Karen immediately judges her and declares her mean. I immediately like this lady. She seems like she's going to bring in the order to this hot mess of a classroom. The gray lady tells them to take their seats and no talking. But Ms. C lets us do whatever we want in the morning! WELL MS. C ISN'T HERE! is what I would say. Enemy Pamela is already there, minding her business (the nerve). Mrs. Hoffman introduces herself. She is a Mrs, so I wonder about her husband and if they pretend to do some strict teacher action at home. Karen notes that Mrs. H does not smile. This reminds me of student- teaching with a mentor teacher who was a lot like Mrs. H. She told me not to smile until Christmas because otherwise the kids would walk all over you. I don't really agree with that philosophy. 

Anyway, Mrs. H puts the kids in alphabetical order and Karen is still in the front (Because Brewer starts with B.) No kidding Karen!! I'm telling you, this is the extra support class. Pamela raises her hand to compliment the new seating arrangement and for one split second, the spotlight is not on Karen. Karen explains THIS is why she doesn't like Pamela. This exchange also earns Mrs. H the ever famous nickname, The Trunchball...I mean, Hatey Hoffman. 

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Karen's New Teacher ch 1-5 Snark

Cover- Karen is standing with Nancy and Ricky and she's all "Come on,  guys, the lady's a bitch." Nancy is holding her hands together, wearing a  prairie dress. The look on her face says "I kind of like Miss Hoffman  but I mustn't go against anything my Queen Karen says. Ricky looks like  he wants to go home and watch television. Miss Hoffman is floating above  Nancy's head writing "TILLUULM" on the chalk board instead of letting  the class stuff their face with pizzas. (The nerve.) 

Chapter 1- Arithmetic pizza, or "What grandparents call math" pizza. 

We don't waste anytime hating on poor Natalie Springer. She is  merely counting her pepperonis and Karen interrupts her to say she's  doing it wrong. "Oh," says Natalie and continues working. Karen rolls  her eyes at Natalie's very existence and then proceeds to brag about how  nice her teacher is to let them learn about fractions with pizza. Then  we get this gem: 

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Turquoise pants

(no subject)

I know no one posts in here anymore, but I was scrolling the internet today, and found out that the BSC is getting a Netflix series!  Hopefully better than the one that was on Disney all those years ago.


Hey, y'all

Does anyone ever come to this comm anymore or has everyone migrated to dreamwidth? I miss the heyday of this comm and wondered if anyone's still around. I have a hard time letting go of places I enjoyed myself at. If anyone's still around, hit me up and I might start posting here again maybe?
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#10 Logan Likes Mary Anne! snark - chapters 6 to 10

I hope you're all enjoying my snark so far! Here's the next third.

Chapter 6

It's the day of the big baby sitting gig. When Mary Anne sees Logan, she freezes up again, but tells herself "This is a job, you fuckwit. Get your fucking shit together." Finally, a little common sense! Logan asks "How much trouble can one little kid be?" and Mary Anne immediately thinks of Jenny. What the fuck is wrong with Jenny? The kid plays quietly by herself. What an easy fucking job! Sounds like a baby sitter's dream to me! Karen, on the other hand, scares her siblings at every opportunity and terrorizes her poor neighbour left, right and centre. Fuck, the little turd scraped the paint off her father's car, AND WASN'T EVEN DISCIPLINED FOR IT. What the fuck has Jenny done? Refused to put on a painting smock? But anyway, I'm getting off topic.

They ring the bell and Mrs. Rodowsky answers the door. She doesn't look like most mothers in Stoneybrook because she's wearing jeans. Umm... what?! I honestly don't even know what to say to that.

She specifically tells them to call her Mariel, but they don't. Jackie runs down the stairs yelling about his grasshopper. After his mother leaves, he bounces off the couch and almost flies right into the piano but Logan manages to catch him. He then starts going on about his male grasshopper again, who is called Elizabeth. Meh. I won't snark that. It's his pet. He can call it what he wants. He runs upstairs to get it. Logan and Mary Anne make awkward small talk, and realise that Jackie's taking an awfully long time to grab a jar and haul ass back downstairs.

They hear a thump, sprint upstairs, and find Jackie sitting on the bathroom floor surrounded by shower curtain. Apparently, he tried to do a chin-up on the shower curtain rod. He and Logan start chatting about random shit, and Mary Anne gets her panties in a twist because Logan hasn't checked him over for injuries, and hasn't reprimanded him for being stupid. So she does so, and Jackie demands grape juice, and claims that he can pour it himself. Of course, he spills it all over the carpet. Nice work, kid. Logan comes to the rescue and cleans the mess up, and Jackie goes to get the grasshopper again. This time they have enough sense to follow him.

The kid gets his hand stuck in the jar, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Hasn't he ever taken his grasshopper out of the jar before? Why the hell didn't his hand get stuck last time? Anyway, Logan comes to the rescue AGAIN, and gets it out with margarine. This kid actually has some sense!

We're told that, before his mother had arrived home, Jackie had managed to fall off his bike, rip his jeans, and cause Mary Anne to fall into Logan's arms. Apart from the last thing, which I doubt Mary Anne had much of an issue with, what a fucking nightmare. They should use a picture of this kid in condom advertisements.

As they're leaving, Logan tells Mary Anne that she has a nice smile. Aww.

Chapter 7

Claudia's baby sitting Mari Myih Myriah and Gabbie Perkins. Bitch can't spell "have". Anyway, "Claudee Kishi" arrives and Mrs. Perkins is all stressed because the dryer just broke and Gabbie has put stickers all over her bedroom door. I get that. I did the same when I was a kid, no one bothered to try to take them off for years, and when I grew up and complained about having babyish stickers all over my door, my parents tried to take them off and the paint came off with them.

Anyway, Mrs. Perkins asks Claudia if they can meet Myriah at the bus stop at 4pm. She then SPECIFICALLY SAYS that Chewy can stay in the yard, and she leaves. Gabbie shows Claudee the stickers and plays by herself for a bit, until they need to leave to go get Myriah.

As they're leaving, Claudee says that Chewy might like a walk, and Gabby mentions that they don't usually take him to the bus stop. The child has more sense than Claudee, who doesn't listen. They walk him to the bus stop, the dumbass goes to pick up Gabbie, and DROPS THE LEASH. The dog grabs Myriah's backpack, and takes off, of course. So they start chasing him, passing the homes of several of the neighbourhood kids, who all start chasing him, too. Charlotte Johnanssen manages to grab Myriah's backpack, and Claudia TAKES THE KIDS HOME AND LEAVES CHEWY LOOSE IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD.


She sits in the house stressing, until a workman rings the doorbell saying that Chewy's been stealing cones. Claudee traps him in the backyard, and Mrs. Perkins comes home. When Claud tells her what happened, she says that Mrs. Perkins seems to think she's bullshitting.

I'd be so fucking pissed off if I'd specifically told a baby sitter to leave my dog in the yard, and she took him out, lost him, and DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING LOOK FOR HIM!

Oh, well. Moving on.

Chapter 8

Meeting time. They're all laughing over the Chewy incident, and Kristy gets the shits, claiming that she'll have to make a decision about Logan by herself. The others all come to attention, and Kristy asks Mary Anne about Logan's trial gig. She says that he did a decent job, and they all agree that they like him, but THEY DON'T WANT HIM IN THE CLUB BECAUSE THINGS ARE AWKWARD AS FUCK WHEN HE'S AROUND.


Anyway, Mariel calls to set up another job, and says that Jackie loves Logan and Mary Anne and wants them to come back. How sweet! Unfortunately, no one's free. Dawn suggests calling Logan, since Jackie likes him anyway, and Kristy says no because he's not an official member yet. What the fuck, Kristy?

Anyway, Mary Anne says she'll try to get out of the boring dinner plans with her dad and his clients, and that they should call Mrs. R back to say that either she or Luevulle will be there. They should probably check with Logan first, but whatever. The bitches get Mary Anne to call Logan to tell him that he can't be in the club, because the majority of them are not mature enough to conduct business with a penis in the room. She says "At least let me call him in private" and goes home a few minutes early.

Hyperventilating, she calls him and is just about to tell him that he can't join, when he says that he's decided against it anyway. After the extreme awkwardness of that first meeting, I honestly can't say I blame him.

Mary Anne takes it personally, of course, and starts wondering if Logan really likes her or whether he was bullshitting, when he asks her to the Remember September dance.

Yes, a dance to celebrate a month. But I digress.

Even though Mary Anne hates dancing, and her dad would probably pitch a fit, she says yes.

Chapter 9

Another fucking baby sitting chapter. This time it's Stacey sitting for Charlotte.

The notebook entry tells us that Charlotte has skipped a year in school, and has a "best friend" named Sophie McCann, even though none of this is mentioned in the actual chapter.

Nothing super-interesting here. Stacey has her Kid-Kit, and reads Charlotte "Happy Birthday to You" by Dr. Seuss. This, of course, leads to the topic of birthdays, and Stacey mentions that Mary Anne's turning 13 soon. For some reason, Charlotte seems to think that it would be a good idea to throw a surprise party for Mary Anne. Sounds like hell to me. You'd think that, being shy herself, Charlotte would know better. But anyway, Stacey shuts the idea down, and Charlotte then suggests throwing a regular party and then bringing out a surprise birthday cake. Why not just ASK Mary Anne whether or not she wants to celebrate her birthday?

But anyway, Stacey goes home and starts writing a guest list, including Dorianne Wallingford, Pete Black, Howie Johnson, Emily Bernstein and Rick Chow, plus she'll ask everyone to bring a date. Mary Anne is FUCKING SHY! She would not want people there that she doesn't know well! Just go over her house for pizza and a movie or something. I'm shy, and I can tell you for a fact that I would MUCH prefer that over a party with a bunch of people that I barely even know.

Chapter 10

It's the day before the Remember September dance! Mary Anne's father has miraculously agreed to let his daughter go, and has even given her his Bellair's charge card so that she can buy a new outfit.

She brings the cult, of course. Rather than looking for a dress or shoes or hair accessories or whatever, Stacey tries to drag Mary Anne to the underwear department! Umm... what the fuck, Stacey? That's so fucking inappropriate. Why the hell does Mary Anne need new underwear? Does Stacey honestly expect her to go all the way on the first date?

But anyway, Claudia eventually find Mary Anne a "full white skirt with the words Paris, Rome and London, and sketchy pink and blue pictures of the Eiffel Tower, the Tower Bridge, and other stuff scrawled all over it." Mary Anne also buys a pink shirt, pink sweater, and some white flats with pink and blue edging. Nice.

The next day, Kristy suggests they pay Janine a couple of dollars to answer the phone for them, while they go over to Mary Anne's to help her get ready.

WHAT... THE... FUCKING... FUCK?!!!!!

She tells Mary Anne to scuff up the bottoms of her shoes or she'll slip and fall, and Mary Anne starts freaking out. Mary Anne's dad drives them all to the dance, and we get some outfit descriptions!

Claudia's wearing "short, tight-fitting black pants and a big white shirt that said BE-BOP all over it in between pictures of rock and roll dancers" with a floppy blue bow in her hair.

Stacey's wearing a white t-shirt with a hot pink jumpsuit. Fugly.

Dawn's wearing a green and white oversized sweater with stretchy green pants.

Kristy's wearing a white turtleneck under a pink sweater with jeans. Seriously, Kristy?

But anyway, the hallway is fucking packed. Mary Anne spots Logan opposite her and has to fight her way through the crowd to go say hi. He gives her a smushed orange flower which doesn't go with anything. (Nice job, Logan.) They drink punch and make awkward small talk, while Mary Anne constantly checks the time, counting the number of minutes until she can escape.

They finally start to dance. Mary Anne copies him, which is cute and makes him laugh. She then kicks one of her feet and her shoe flies off, narrowly misses the vice-principal, and hits the wall. Everyone loses their shit laughing at her, including her BFFs. She marches over to the bleachers and Logan dances with the other cult members, while checking on Mary Anne every now and then. There is no mention of her apparent best friends coming over to check on her once throughout the evening.

The dance ends, Logan's all sweet, and Mary Anne decides that she might actually want to go to another dance with him... maybe.

#10 Logan Likes Mary Anne! snark - chapters 1 to 5

I've read and laughed hysterically at a thousand of these things, and I just finished my final uni exam for the year a couple of days ago, so I figured that I might have a go at snarking one of these books myself.

My first snark ever, but hopefully not my last! Please be kind!

Before I get started, I hope no one minds if I take this opportunity to get a few things off my chest about the series in general.

1. Don't any of the parents in Stoneybrook have any family members nearby, at all, ever? What I mean is, don't grandparents typically enjoy babysitting their grandchildren? Or aunts and uncles? Or close adult friends? What the hell possesses these people to leave their children in the care of KIDS WHO ARE ONLY A FEW YEARS OLDER THAN THEY ARE?!! I have two things to say about that. One - when I was a child over the age of three, there is no way that I would have ever listened to a 13 year old or an ELEVEN YEAR OLD! Two - professional babysitting agencies do exist, and they always have! With adult babysitters who have qualifications in childcare, who know how to drive in the case of an emergency, and who don't set up "booby traps" and then shit their pants when the dog sets them off. (Mary Anne in the phantom phone calls book - I'm looking at you.)

2. Stacey and Dawn. Fucking hell. You think New York and California are better than Connecticut. WE! GET! IT!!! We fucking get it!!!! Christ!!

3. What the hell is up with Dawn's mother? Wearing mismatched earrings and leaving hedge clippers in the freezer and shit? What the fuck is this woman on? Who does that?

4. Charlie. What the fuck? Does this guy honestly have nothing better to do that chauffer his little sister around every fucking day (either to a meeting or a babysitting gig)? And all for a dollar or two? And what the hell does he do while Kristy is in the meetings? Does he honestly drive home and then straight back to Claudia's again? Or does he just sit in his car twiddling his thumbs for thirty minutes?

5. What the hell, Kishis? Your daughter can't fucking spell words that she should have learned when she was six. But instead of hiring tutors for her and making her SIT DOWN AND FUCKING STUDY, you let her go off to babysitting gigs and art classes every day after school. Call me pessimistic, but the chances of Claudia actually being a professional artist one day are pretty fucking slim. Repeat after me. ART CLASSES ARE A HOBBY! Her school work should come first! In this book, they mention that a C is an acceptable grade for Claudia. So her parents have essentially given up then? "Let's just focus on our one daughter who actually gives a shit, and then talk her into letting her sister sponge off her in their adult years." Great parenting, Kishis!

6. I still don't know who the fuck Abby is. And I don't really care.

Anyway! On to the book! Let's start with the cover.

Logan and Jackie both look 11. Mary Anne looks 28. All of their clothes are ugly, especially Mary Anne's jumper. And Jackie looks far more in love with Logan than Mary Anne does. Moving on.

Chapter 1

Mary Anne begins by telling us that it's the last day of summer holidays, they're all starting year 8 for the first time, and it had been an eventful summer. The spiel then begins in the second paragraph.

The Baby-Sitters Club earns "pretty much money", whatever the hell that means. They meet three times a week to "gossip and fool around". Seriously, Ann? You couldn't have chosen a better phrase than that?

Kristy likes sports and has a rich stepfather. Her big event this past summer was that her mother got married. Claudia likes junk food, miraculously isn't obese, and is a fucking dumbass. Her event was that her grandmother had a stroke but is gradually recovering. Dawn is a health-food wench. Her event was that she went to California to visit her dad, and she found a secret passage in her house. Stacey has diabetes. Her event was that she went to New Jersey with Mary Anne and the Pikes and was a total bitch for nine tenths of the book.

Dawn rings Mary Anne's doorbell so that they can walk across the street together. (Seriously?) She was wearing a "pretty snappy outfit - hot-pink shorts with a big, breezy island-print shirt over a white tank top", which actually sounds surprisingly okay. Mary Anne checks the mailbox and actually SHRIEKS because Sixteen has arrived and Cam Geary is on the cover. (I only discovered about a week ago that Cam Geary isn't real. I'm not even kidding.) Dawn remarks on how much Mary Anne has changed over the summer, and they go to Claudia's. I am flabbergasted - they actually say hello to Janine!

Anyway, Claudia passes around the usual junk food, including gumdrops and pretzels from her pillowcase. Can you say "ouch"? We then get two paragraphs on the notebook and the record book, of course. And then the girls do something miraculous which nearly causes me to fall off my chair - they actually act like normal teenagers for about thirty seconds and talk about celebrities! Apparently Cam Geary is dating some chick called Corrie Lalique, who looks older than 14 because she has breasts.

Mrs. Prezzioso calls and the bitches all groan. Mary Anne takes the job as usual, because she's the only one who can tolerate a perfectly nice child who doesn't like to play in the mud. The horror!

They then get several more calls in a row, and the last meeting of the summer comes to an end.

Chapter 2

Mary Anne, Claudia and Stacey all walk to school together. Mary Anne has all new stationery (which was always my favourite thing about the first day of school), a Cam Geary poster for her locker, and some chewing gum for sticking it up, because tape is apparently not allowed. Fucking nasty! You'd think the teachers would be more against nasty bits of chewed gum everywhere than bits of tape. And Blu Tack has been around since the 60s, hasn't it?

Mary Anne talks about being a wuss when they started sixth grade, which I get - new school and all that. But she mentions that she wasn't much better when starting seventh grade. Umm... what? What is so scary about starting a new school year AT A SCHOOL THAT YOU ALSO ATTENDED THE YEAR BEFORE?

Anyway, they get to school, Stacey pulls off a random Porky Pig imitation, Mary Anne puts up her poster, walks to homeroom, and almost shits her pants when she sees that there are kids in there that she doesn't know well. She's saved by Dawn though, they sit down at the back, and Mary Anne tells us her schedule.

English, maths, gym, social studies, lunch, science, study hall, and French. Four classes before getting the chance to eat anything seems a bit extreme to me. At both of my high schools (no middle school in my country - year 7-12 is high school), we had two subjects, then a 20-minute recess, then two subjects, then a 40-minute lunch, then two subjects, then home time.

Kristy and Mary Anne have decided to stop being babyish and start buying lunch. That's something that I've never quite understood. Dawn brings her lunch, and no one says anything. Claudia and Stacey have decided to ditch their old friends and sit with the other cult members. I guess that means "Goodbye, Shillaber twins!" Kristy compares the school mushroom sauce to "a dirty sock that's been left out in the rain and then hidden in a dark closet for three weeks". Yet you're the dumbass who bought it, Kristy! Seems like Dawn's the only one with half a brain in this bunch.

Mary Anne suddenly jizzes her pants at the sight of Cam Geary in the lunch room. Stacey tells her that it's Logan Bruno, some new kid in her homeroom, from Louisville, Kentucky. Mary Anne seethes with jealousy as the chapter comes to an end.

Chapter 3

Another club meeting. Everyone showed up at the last minute, and Kristy didn't pitch a fit because she was almost late herself, thanks to Charlie having a life outside of her. (He was at football practice.) The phone is already ringing off the hook, and Kristy has one of her "brilliant ideas". More advertising! There's some PTA meeting coming up, which for some reason they have been advertising at school (and not in the newsletter), but whatever. Kristy wants to distribute flyers there, and also around her neighbourhood, so that she can have some local clients.

Mary Anne mentions Logan, and all the other cult members start giving her shit for it. She's then saved by the ringing of the phone, and the conversation turns to some random girl (who we've never heard of before and will never hear of again), who "got a bra yesterday". How do they know this? And why does it matter?

Then Mary Anne confesses that she got a bra yesterday, too, and all of the cult members lose their shit over it. "Flat as a pancake" Kristy is now the only cult member without a bra! Whatever will she do?!! Chapter over.

Chapter 4

Claudia runs past Mary Anne in the hall yelling about an emergency club meeting at lunch. Was that really necessary? They're all going to be sitting together anyway. Can they only talk about business if they're at an official meeting? Whatever. Mary Anne tells Kristy, and she immediately demands to know who called it. "Only the president calls emergency meetings, bitches! Worship me! Kiss my feet! And so on."

Anyway, lunch time rolls around, and they don't like the lunch again, so Mary Anne and Kristy buy popsicles. How filling and nutritious! So much better than a babyish home-made lunch!

At the table, Claudia tells everyone that she's going batshit crazy over all the extra phone calls that she's been receiving lately, thanks to the recent advertising that Kristy forced them all to do. Apparently she received seven phone calls the night before and that morning. The flyers have business days/hours printed on them! Don't people pay attention to shit like that? Anyway, Claudia says that her parents would have flipped the fuck out if she had called all the members about all the jobs last night, as she is apparently ALREADY behind in maths and English. (Isn't it like week 2? How is that even possible?) And her parents obviously want her studying rather than talking to her friends all fucking night on a weeknight. Maybe they do have an ounce of common sense afterall.

So the jobs haven't been filled, and Claudia's brought the record book to school so that they can take care of it. It's a bit tricky, but they manage to fill all the jobs. Then something miraculous happens. Mary Anne actually CONFRONTS Kristy - "What the fuck, you stupid bitch! Why the fuck did you make us advertise when we were already swamped with work?! Are you fucking high?!!"

Nah, I'm kidding (unfortunately). She says "We definitely shouldn't do any more advertising. We were already pretty busy as it was." Kristy, of course, won't admit that she did anything wrong and, after an awkward silence, Claudia asks how they're going to deal with the problem.

And then it happened, fellow snarkies. The moment you've all been waiting for! The heavens part! The angels start to sing! YES! IT'S THAT HEAVENLY VOICE!

"In Luevulle, Ah've haid plainy of expuryence."

The cult members all simultaneously cream their pants. Kristy invites him to sit with them, and Logan's friends start hooting and hollering and punching him on the arm. He sits next to Mary Anne who freezes in place. Stacey introduces him to everyone, and Kristy tells him about the club. Logan says that he babysits for his siblings and used to babysit for his neighbours in "Luevulle". He then says that he can stay out until 10:30 on weeknights and midnight on weekends. The kid's 13. Nice parenting, Brunos. Kristy invites him to the next meeting, and Mary Anne just about dies.

Chapter 5

The big day has arrived. Mary Anne was babysitting, but Mrs. Newton arrived home early, so Mary Anne sprints home to change into "a bright vest over a short-sleeved white blouse", brush her hair, and put on some jewellery. She arrives at Claudia's at 5:15, and everyone's already there. They comment on the fact that Mary Anne's prettied herself up for Logan, and they give her shit over it again.

Then... LOGAN ARRIVES! Claudia goes to let him in and Mary Anne shoves Claudia's rag doll under her bed. She also clears a spot on the floor next to her for Logan. He comes in, says hi, and sits down, and Mary Anne fucking freezes AGAIN. Seriously, bitch? WHY did you want him sitting next to you if you're just going to be awkward throughout the whole fucking meeting? But anyway, everyone but Mary Anne talks about club stuff, tells him about their titles, and about the notebook and record book.

The phone rings, and they all jump for it, including Mary Anne, which makes no sense as she can't even fucking talk. Dawn gets it, and it's Mrs. Perkins. She tell Logan that they live across the street, have two girls, and are expecting another baby. Logan's response is just "okay". He clearly couldn't care less. Can't say I blame him.

Mary Anne picks up the record book, drops it, picks it up, and drops it again. Finally Logan has to hand it to her. Fucking hell, Mary Anne. Anyway, Claudia and Mary Anne are both free, but Claudia tells Mary Anne to take it.

After a few more phone calls, Mary Anne tells us that Claudia and Stacey are now busy every afternoon next week. I wonder how the Kishis will feel about that.

Claudia starts telling the story of how Pete Black snapped Dorianne Wallingford's bra strap (who cares?) but stops herself once she remembers that there's a boy in the room, and that "bra strap" is a dirty phrase! Everyone gets all awkward, Logan passes Mary Anne some popcorn to diffuse the tension, and Mary Anne SPILLS IT EVERYWHERE. FUCKING HELL, MARY ANNE! They all scramble around, trying to clean it up.

Claudia asks Logan about his worst baby sitting experience, and he starts telling the story of how he was baby sitting a kid who was being potty trained who didn't want to go to the toilet, so Logan whipped his dick out and showed him how to pee. He, too, stops before he reaches the awkward part, but it was obvious where the story was going.

Anyway, Claudia and Logan go to the kitchen to get sodas, and the other members talk about whether or not this would actually work out. With the exception of Claudia and Stacey, they are obviously not mature enough to act like actual human beings around boys, especially Mary Anne, who can't even fucking talk.

Anyway, they return with the drinks, and Logan tries to make small talk. Again, he gets nothing out of Mary Anne. Mrs. Rodowsky calls - yes, this is the first book with the Rodowskys! They apparently live down the road from Logan, and Kristy asks him if he wants to go on a trial job, which he agrees to. Mary Anne is the only cult member who's free! Oooooooh, shit.