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Dawn's Book- last! Finally done! - Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Dissecting the unintentional hilarity of The Baby-sitters Club.

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Dawn's Book- last! Finally done! [Feb. 11th, 2017|04:18 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

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[danidee92]
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Hey, guys! Finally finished with this! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 11:
This is gonna be quick because it's not that snarky: Dawn calls the fire department and the Austins. The fire was confined to the kitchen but everything else is fine. The Austins thank Dawn profusely, which I understand. But then it gets a bit extreme when the mayor wants to give her a medal for being one of the community's heroes. I get she was brave and did all the right stuff but being a community hero for having the common sense to lead the kids out of their house and call the fire department? Also, the other person receiving an award is a woman who fostered twenty children, gave them homes, and helped them go to college and have their own families. That sounds a thousand times more heroic than what Dawn did, no offense. 
Dawn says it best: "I didn't feel like I was such a big hero when I thought of all the work and love that Mrs. Hughes had given to her foster children. I had led two kids out of a house and made a phone call." That is actually enormously humble coming from Dawn. Although later, during "Little Ms. Stoneybrook and Dawn", she won't stop showing off about it so points gone.
Jack jokes that Dawn will start driving them even more crazy about fire drills. Go Jack is all I am going to say. 
Dawn isn't so worried about fires anymore and is more concerned about her parents fighting. They announce they're separating and Dawn knows she can't fix it it's sad and I can't snark it. 
She then tells us she moved to Stoneybrook and started a new life
And I have a feeling we are in for a boring chapter full of shit we've all read before...
Next title: A new life on the East Coast
Chapter 12
Dawn did something she was not proud of during babysitting. I actually think I remember this and it's not as bad as other shit Dawn has done. Sometimes I wish that when she finally stops kissing her own ass all the time it's to discuss an actual fault of hers instead of something that's not THAT bad. I mean it's bad, but nowhere near the worst thing she's ever done. It's probably somewhere in the middle of saying she's an individual when she isn't and making snide comments anytime someone eats meat around her. And it doesn't even rank anywhere near how she treated Sunny or stealing her dad's credit card. Yet Dawn never feels guilty about that. Actually, I think she's proud of all of it.
Since she's already uselessly described the BSC to us in great detail, we don't get a description about it but I actually think skipping the beginning introductions and instead BRIEFLY describing what the club is in this chapter would work since her teacher obviously has no idea who they are.
Anyway, the incident occurred shortly after Dawn joined the cult. She's walking to a meeting and
mentions she has to hurry because Kristy doesn't tolerate lateness. I previously snarked "Kristy's Worst Idea" and I remember there's a point where Kristy tells us she's lenient about lateness, yet in every book one of the members is terrified about being late lest they be subjected to "the Look."
If I was Dawn's teacher I may also be concerned at reading that part.
Dawn runs into Mary Anne.
Okay, so we do get a description about how Mary Anne and Dawn became sibs, which makes sense given the context that this is supposed to be written for a teacher who hasn't read over 120 books about these bitches and knows this shit already. 
Dawn misses her dad. Can't snark, skim. 
Dawn and Mary Anne stroll in at 5:28, and Kristy tells them they were almost late. Really, Kristy? Really? Being intolerant of lateness is bad enough, but now it's a problem if they're not early? Kristy, I hope you fall in a hole on your way out. 
A regular meeting commences and then Kristy decides she wants to go over the basic rules of babysitting for some unexplainable irritating reason. Are you their teacher or their friend, Kristy, just wondering? 
They have to go over the rules so Dawn can write them down. This really does seem like school. How about you just sit with the kids while the parents are away and make sure the house stays in one piece and the kids are safe? That sounds like the rules to me. No need to be formal about it.
Because Dawn is an individual, rather than tell Kristy off which is what she wants to do, she obeys orders.
Kristy mouths off the rules-- basic shit like knowing where the parents are going to be, having emergency numbers, and knowing about bedtime-- while everyone else makes jokes which makes me like them in this book. 
The last rule is to respect the privacy of the clients which sets the stage for upcoming events. But seriously, when does the BSC ever respect the privacy of their clients? When Kristy decided Susan's education was up to her, instead of respecting that Mr. and Mrs. Felder already had a plan for their daughter which suits her best interests? When Kristy called up Mrs. Hobart to screech about her hiring Cokie as a sitter? Any time they decide to meddle into their charge's personal problems?
A new client, Mr. Lazar, calls. He was referred by Dr. Johansson and has a seven-year-old daughter named Sandra. 
Obviously, since this is a Dawn book, she gets the job. Dun, dun, dun.

Chapter 13
Dawn arrives for the job and is greeted by Mrs. Lazar and Sandra. 
Mrs. Lazar explains that Sandra will need help with her homework and then she can play with the Kid-Kit. She tells her other basic stuff and leaves.
They make dinner then work on Sandra's homework. Sandra has trouble reading and Dawn is a little bitchy about it. She tells us that most kids Sandra's age can read a simple story like that. I don't know why but that comment really bothers me. Maybe because I grew up with a disability and I hate the expression "most kids can do (such and such)." Every kid is different. Some are good readers, some aren't. Some walk early and talk late. Some of us are in our twenties and can barely do multiplication and division. Some of us are 13 years old and don't know how to respect people. Shut up, Dawn.
Dawn goes to take a call and starts looking through papers on the desk. Seriously, Dawn? Nosy and invading privacy much? She comes across a letter from Stoneybrook Elementary and reads it. You can't even say she stumbled across it accidentally. She looks through the Lazars' shit and flat out reads the letter.
It's a letter from the principal recommending that Sandra repeat second grade because she is having trouble with reading and math. Poor thing, seriously. 
Dawn feels bad for Sandra and puts the letter back exactly where she found it so the parents won't know she's a nosy asshole.
Dawn helps Sandra with her homework and the poor girl acknowledges her trouble with reading. I also feel bad when people have so much trouble. As mentioned, I have a learning disability and I also work with special needs adults.
Dawn decides she's going to make Sandra feel special which is actually very nice. And Sandra is actually a really creative kid who pretended they were doing a cooking show as they were making dinner. Luckily Dawn acknowledges this and Sandra feels good. 
She puts Sandra to bed and organizes the house, then starts to feel guilty about breaking the no snooping/respect privacy rule. She thinks it's helpful to know Sandra is repeating a grade, as her babysitter. Not really. It's not like she's her teacher or tutor or something. She really doesn't need to know. 
When the Lazars come home, Mrs.
Lazar is very complimentary of Dawn's work that day, making Dawn feel more guilty.

Chapter 14
The BSC has a party to celebrate the end of the school year. There's a picture of them, but Stacey is missing (that is, I assume it's Stacey, usually Dawn and Stacey are interchangeable but since this is Dawn's book I am going to assume the blonde girl in the picture is Dawn.) Was that after Stacey moved back to NYC perhaps? I always get confused with the timeline but I feel like it had to be before Stacey moved because the summer between 7th-8th grade prior to the time warp which I assume this is because Dawn has just moved, was the summer of books 6-8 when Stacey is still there. So I am just going to say it is a continuity error. Or Stacey missed the meeting and Kristy has her locked up somewhere. One or the other.
Anyway, Mrs. Lazar calls again and specifically asks for Dawn but Dawn has to pass the job around because of the rules. I feel like the rule is kind of stupid. If your priority is the kids, let the sitter that the kid(s) want(s) come that day. I know if I wanted my favorite babysitter to come and got stuck with someone else because of a stupid rule I wouldn't be too happy.
Dawn ends up getting the job anyway. Mrs. Lazar and Sandra continue to love Dawn and before Mrs. Lazar leaves, she reminds Sandra that she has to do a half hour of reading. 
They read Madeline and Sandra struggles. Sandra gets upset and proclaims herself dumb (guys, my heart is breaking.) It's also hard to snark Dawn here because she's acting like a good person for once and is being encouraging and trying to help and telling her she isn't dumb. But then, IT happens. Dawn tells Sandra that going to second grade again will help with the reading problem. 
But then she realizes that Sandra never knew she was repeating second grade. Dawn plays dumb and is like "right I forgot you were going to third grade next year hurr de hurr."
Sandra seems to forget about the comment as she and Dawn pretend they're working on a cooking show for the rest of the time. 
But as soon as Mrs. Lazar comes home Sandra immediately tells her what Dawn said. An unhappy Mrs. Lazar sends Sandra up to her room and tells Dawn that they weren't going to tell Sandra about repeating a grade until a few days before school because they don't want her to worry about it all summer. That actually makes a lot of sense. Dawn apologizes but it isn't good enough. Part of me has anxiety just reading this because I hate getting reprimanded but part of me is glad that Dawn is finally being told off. However, I wish it was for her judgmental nature or her preachy ass annoying everyone about their diet or her general lack of care for others and selfishness. This situation was bad, but not the worst thing she's ever done. It is bad that she messed with this family's plan and was downright nosy, but I don't think all of it was done maliciously. 
Dawn does feel remorse but decides to keep the incident a secret. She does worry about Mrs.
Lazar calling the cult to complain (I don't blame Dawn, Kristy would have her lynched), but she never calls them again, not to complain or to hire, and no one else notices they lost a client which I find really hard to believe.
Chapter 15
Dawn finishes her autobiography. Walking to school the next day, Sunny notes how thick it is. Kind of wish Sunny knew what was written about her in there. That would be a telling off I would really enjoy.
And then I realized my wish may actually happen. Sunny asks Dawn to read her autobiography and Dawn says "if you'll read mine." So Sunny will see all the shit written about her. I guess nothing comes of it sadly since they seem just fine in the later books. Still I am surprised that Dawn wanted to share her autobiography with sunny given all the horrible things she said. Does she want sunny to feel bad? I know I'd be pissed if I were her and I read about my best friend thought I was a freak and didn't want to go near me when we first met.
Then Dawn does actually stop to wonder how Sunny will feel about her when she reads the story and sees the chapter about her moving in. She also thinks Sunny may not like her for what she did to Sandra, or think she's stupid for not noticing her parents were headed for divorce (Sunny wouldn't be a very good friend if she thought that and I doubt that's the case. Dawn worries about weird things), or think she's vain for being proud about the fire thing.
I think the only thing she has to worry about is the part where she was so internally mean to Sunny. 
Dawn realizes Sunny is also worried about how Dawn will perceive her after reading her autobiography and she decides not to worry after all. But Sunny probably wasn't a huge asshole to Dawn in her story, so there's that. She thinks "we'd be better friends than ever after we read one another's biographies." How could she possibly think that after what she wrote about Sunny? Okay yeah she decided she wanted to be friends but that was only after sunny became likable in the public eye after the mall incident. 
Dawn worries about her grade all weekend. Wait, it only takes a WEEKEND for the teacher to grade an entire class's life stories? That's insane.
Anyway, Dawn finally gets her book back and she gets an A- for content and a B for presentation. Her teacher says she is a good storyteller and smiles as she hands her her project. She always says she's glad to have her back at their school. I am super surprised that she's not hiding a frown and wishing Dawn was back in stoneybrook after reading how much of an asshole she was when she was little. 
--
</lj>
Hope you all enjoyed and thanks for reading! I was thinking of doing all the other girls' autobiographies, but Abby's is a bit too depressing so I may have to skip that one. Would you guys rather see a snark on another autobiography book or a Karen snark? Let me know!
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: star_dragon5
2017-02-11 10:07 pm (UTC)
Karen snark. That brat can't be mocked enough.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kahran042
2017-02-12 12:18 am (UTC)
I'd have to say a Karen snark. If you have them, I'd like to suggest either Karen's Copycat or Karen's County Fair.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: danidee92
2017-02-12 02:25 pm (UTC)
Hi! I don't have either of those BUT I can order them off Amazon and snark them for you :) In the mean time, I have access to:
Karen's Bunny
Karen's Accident
Karen's Twin
Karen's Black Cat
Karen's Pizza Party
Karen's New Holiday
All the books 1-8
Karen's Brothers
Let me know if you want any of these
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kahran042
2017-02-12 05:08 pm (UTC)
Out of those, the one I'd most like to see snarked is Karen's Bunny.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: shatisarockgod
2017-02-12 01:24 am (UTC)
Dawn says it best: "I didn't feel like I was such a big hero when I thought of all the work and love that Mrs. Hughes had given to her foster children. I had led two kids out of a house and made a phone call." That is actually enormously humble coming from Dawn.--I'm even surprised she said that tbh.

and I remember there's a point where Kristy tells us she's lenient about lateness,--bullshit. I swear if somebody got into a car accident on the way to the meeting and that person was late, Kristy would ask them if they hurt their legs in the accident and why she couldn't have walked the rest of the way if she hadn't hurt her legs. It's just shitty all the way around.

Dawn and Mary Anne stroll in at 5:28, and Kristy tells them they were almost late.--Yeah, that sounds lenient to me. You're not even late but let me harp about you ALMOST being late.

Kristy, I hope you fall in a hole on your way out. --Or the other girls push her into the hole.

Are you their teacher or their friend, Kristy, just wondering?--Kristy makes me think of the guy that goes on an ego trip in "The Twilight Zone" episode "The Little People".

How about you just sit with the kids while the parents are away and make sure the house stays in one piece and the kids are safe? --I really don't know how Dawn's sitting through this with a straight face without making a smart ass remark. This shit has to be common sense. Show up on time, don't flake off without a good reason, don't hurt/kill/fuck up the kids in any way, have common sense with whatever you face while you're babysitting, follow the rules the parents have for you, etc.

And I gotta say that whole part makes me laugh because it makes me think of Mrs. Barrett in the Impossible Kids book. "Just sit" Yeah, I agree emergency numbers should be written down, allergies and information like that should be known about, etc. But overall the girls just make mountains out of molehills for so many situations.

The last rule is to respect the privacy of the clients--I wasn't aware these girls knew what privacy even meant...

But seriously, when does the BSC ever respect the privacy of their clients?--*applause*

Any time they decide to meddle into their charge's personal problems? --Especially if it's light stuff. I'm mainly talking about fears and phobias the kids might have. Sometimes kids are gonna grow out of shit like that and other times it's gonna stick with them for life. I have a fear of cockroaches, been that way since I was a kid. My cats help me BIG TIME with the roaches so I'm not in so much of a panic if I see one. And I can only imagine these girls making a mountain out of molehill if they had to babysit me as a kid. "This little girl just can't be scared of cockroaches. It is our MISSION IN LIFE to help her defeat this fear!"

I do think a lot of times the girls drop the ball when it concerns protecting their kids when it concerns a storyline involving bullies. This ~let the kiddies handle it on their own~ doesn't impress me one bit.

Dawn is a little bitchy about it. --Must really be hard to be perfect, Dawn. Some people are gonna have troubles that you don't have.

She thinks it's helpful to know Sandra is repeating a grade, as her babysitter.--No. You have no reason in the world to know that. Only way I can see you finding out is if Sandra or her parents mention it to you after the news has been revealed to Sandra. "I'm sad about repeating 2nd grade while all my friends are going to 3rd grade."/"Sandra been a bit down in the dumps lately because she found out she's going to have to repeat the grade over again." And that might not even come up in conversation. Again, only vital info Dawn needs are emergency numbers and allergy information.

But then she realizes that Sandra never knew she was repeating second grade.--That's still a situation to be in even if Sandra did know. "How did you know about this? I didn't tell you and my parents didn't tell you." "*thinks* Oh shit. "Um......lucky guess?"

I am super surprised that she's not hiding a frown and wishing Dawn was back in stoneybrook after reading how much of an asshole she was when she was little.--lmfao!

Enjoyed the snark! :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: road_baby
2017-02-12 01:44 am (UTC)
Okay Dawn, you feel bad for snooping and letting it slip about repeating a grade thing. Fine okay. Why feel bad about a mistake (letting the secret out) but not about the horrible way you treated Mary Anne and Richard when he and Sharon got married?! Or the even more horrible way you treated Mary Anne when she got her hair cut?! Are you just a total sociopath or mega bitch? Oh, it's both

Congrats on getting through this one, I doubt I could have. I would say a Karen book for your next snark but I don't know any to suggest.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: andromeda331
2017-02-12 11:17 am (UTC)
Yet Dawn never feels guilty about that. Actually, I think she's proud
of all of it.

So do I.

How about you just sit with the kids while the parents are away and make sure the house stays in one piece and the kids are safe?

Yeah, that's all babysitting is. Its really not that hard.

. But seriously, when does the BSC ever respect the privacy of their clients? When Kristy decided Susan's education was up to her, instead of respecting that Mr. and Mrs. Felder already had a plan for their daughter which suits her best interests? When Kristy called up Mrs. Hobart to screech about her hiring Cokie as a sitter? Any time they decide to meddle into their charge's personal problems?

Nope never.

You can't even say she stumbled across it accidentally. She looks through the Lazars' shit and flat out reads the letter.

Is it wrong that I'm not surprised that Dawn when through their stuff? Or that
I could see most of the BSC doing the same thing?

I feel like the rule is kind of stupid. If your priority is the kids, let the sitter that the kid(s) want(s) come that day. I know if I wanted my favorite babysitter to come and got stuck with someone else because of a stupid rule I wouldn't be too happy.

I agree. What's the big deal? Its not like there's not going to be other jobs coming in. If the kid's happy the parent who is the real customer is happy, and will call back.

How could she possibly think that after what she wrote about Sunny? Okay yeah she decided she wanted to be friends but that was only after sunny became likable in the public eye after the mall incident. 

Good question. Why does she want Sunny to read that? Why would Sunny want to stay friends with Dawn after learning what Dawn really thought of her?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: the1812overture
2017-02-21 09:56 am (UTC)
A regular meeting commences and then Kristy decides she wants to go over the basic rules of babysitting for some unexplainable irritating reason.

I just became a Girl Scout leader, and we are supposed to check the safety guidelines before literally EVERY activity, even if it's going to the neighborhood part. Every time before we go.

they weren't going to tell Sandra about repeating a grade until a few days before school because they don't want her to worry about it all summer. That actually makes a lot of sense.

Not really. They're going to let her spend the summer thinking she'll be moving up a grade with her friends, and then pulling the rug out from under her.

Abby's is a bit too depressing so I may have to skip that one.

My dad died. I don't think I could get through hers.

But the others, yes!
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