Last time on Karen's Witch:
- Turns out Harry Potter is a warlock.
- OTP: Kristy x Moosie
- Free cookies at Mrs. Porter's!
Karen decides that she and Hannie have to create a magic spell to stop the witches. Okay, Karen, think about this: you can create a magic spell. Doesn't that make you a witch?
Conclusion: Karen's a mudblood. And a squib. Cause *spoiler alert* her spell won't work.
Hannie asks if they'll need cinnamon and garlic for the spell.
J. K. Rowling has noted that - even if they were to follow the instructions exactly and had all the ingredients - a Muggle could not brew a potion because there is always the need to channel magic at some point, at some stage one would have to use a wand.
Snape should give Karen and Hannie one of these:
50 points from Karen and Hannie.
Instead of using spices, Karen gathers up a bunch of leaves and thinks up some lame-ass spells before deciding on this one:
Here are the witches. We'll give them a whack. So they can't hurt us. And they'll never come back.
Hannie, at first, believes they're going to really whack the witches. I think someone needs to whack Karen.
The time has come. Karen and Hannie go over to Mrs. Porter's mansion and ring the doorbell. Mrs. Porter opens the door, and Karen asks to be let in a loud, haughty voice. They come in, and Mrs. Porter is confused. She asks Karen what she may do for her, but Karen thinks she said, "What may I do to you?" Okay... First "whacking the witches" and now that line.
In the same loud, haughty voice, Karen says she's here for the meeting.
You can't refuse loud, haughty Karen.
And all this while, Karen isn't sure about what she's doing. This child never thinks carefully about anything.
Finally, the moment we've all been waiting for: Karen makes a complete spectacle of herself.
Karen's at the meeting and interrupts it by going, AHEM! AHEM! She's just really noisy in this book. Karen tells all of Mrs. Porter's guests that she knows they're witches and warlocks. One man yells, "WHAT!?" because Hagrid also told him that he was a wizard. Some of the women laugh. Karen threatens to tell her parents if anyone tries to do anything to the neighborhood. And what will Watson and Elizabeth just do, Karen? By now, more people are laughing and the others look mad.
Karen and Hannie start reciting their spell, and Hannie says "smack" instead of "whack." Oh, the levels of wrongness here.
Turns out Karen's maternal grandmother, Grandma Packett, is at the meeting. Karen is shocked - her grandmother is a witch! Grandma Packett sets Karen straight and tells her to apologize to Mrs. Porter and the Stoneybrook Gardeners Club (wait - this is not a meeting of the Order?). Now Karen is in BIG trouble.
After Karen and Hannie hastily apologize to Mrs. Porter, Grandma Packett gets their asses out of that mansion. No free cookies for Karen. Hannie is sent to her mansion, and Grandma Packett takes Karen to hers. Before they go in, G.P. asks Karen what the hell she was doing. Karen whispers that she was saving her neighborhood.
G.P. tells Watson and Elizabeth what Karen has done. I think G.P. should also call Lisa and let her know that her six year old daughter is a jackass. Karen says she hasn't seen Watson this upset since the time Karen said a bad word in a restaurant. I really, really want to know what word she said.
Quiz time! Karen embarrasses her neighbor and her grandmother in front of their gardening club. What does Watson and Elizabeth do?
a. ground Karen for a week or more
b. ban Karen from the backyard, so she can't spy on the neighbors anymore
c. take away Karen's copy of The Littlest Witch
d. not really punish her at all
If you guessed "d." you win a cookie courtesy of the Stoneybrook Gardening Club! Watson and Elizabeth make Karen write a note to Mrs. Porter, but that's it. You know why? Because Karen thought she was doing something good, that she was saving the neighborhood, so Watson and Elizabeth can't punish her for that.
Once again, Karen the squib gets away with bad behavior. All Watson needs to hear is, "I won't spy on the neighbors anymore, Daddy" and that's it. No grounding, no loss of privileges, not even a stern lecture. Just, "I know you thought you were doing the right thing, sweetie. So just write this note, and you're off the hook." And Karen still believes Mrs. Porter is a witch. I believe Karen will never be accepted into Pottermore. Not after this stunt.