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Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Dissecting the unintentional hilarity of The Baby-sitters Club.

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[sticky post] Spambots/spam Thread [Jul. 9th, 2014|07:51 am]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

author_by_night
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Apparently we are getting a lot of spam... I apologize for not catching it.

In the meantime, if you get any spam, please let the mods know instead of deleting so we can report it. You can actually report it to us in this thread for now.

EDIT 1: As a temporary measure (I hope), I have set a recaptcha requirement for all non-members who post comments. I hate to do this because I realize recaptcha can be problematic for some people (myself included, honestly), but hopefully it'll be very temporary I tested this one and it didn't work, so instead, all non-member comments will be screened for now, as a temporary measure. Please let me know if this causes anyone major problems. 
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Kristy and the Secret of Susan (11-15) [Apr. 21st, 2015|09:04 am]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

syphabelnades
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All right, let's get this piece of crap over with so I can move on to the next piece of crap. The next book I will be snarking is also a Kristy book and it is just about as appalling as this one.

Here goes.Collapse )
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BSC SUPER SPECIAL #8: BABY-SITTERS AT SHADOW LAKE OR HOW MANY VACATIONS DO THESE LUCKY B*^CHES GET?! [Apr. 20th, 2015|03:52 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

bleeding_thorn2
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[Current Mood |aggravatedaggravated]

BSC SUPER SPECIAL #8: BABY-SITTERS AT SHADOW LAKE OR HOW MANY VACATIONS DO THESE LUCKY B*^CHES GET?!!! PART 1!!!

Hello people!! I hope you all had a great weekend, it was like eighty degrees and beautiful out here! Now, though it’s pouring so hard, I halfway expect to start seeing two of every animal start marching down the street and a huge Ark to appear.

Anyway, I want to thank you all again for the awesome comments, you guys are amazing and forever rock!! A special shoutout goes to road_baby for hooking me up with a way to get more BSC books!! I now have the Sea City Super Special and most of the ones I was missing, so I have stuff to snark for a LONNNNNGGGG TIME so,  a HUGE freakin Thank You to you:




Everyone got their Kool-Aid, Pepsi, or other junk food?  Then:


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And that’s all for now, more will be up soon. I’ll see you soon!! Thanks for reading!
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Kristy and the Secret of Susan (6-10) [Apr. 20th, 2015|10:03 am]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

syphabelnades
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Judging by the comments on my previous thread, this book strikes an emotional chord with a lot more than just me.

Also wtf is up with the title? Susan isn't a damn secret. The fact that she's autistic isn't a secret.

Brace yourselves for lots of headdeskingCollapse )
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Kristy and the Secret of Susan (1-5) [Apr. 19th, 2015|02:58 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

syphabelnades
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Okay, okay. The truth is, this book is low hanging fruit. The truth is that this is quite possibly one of the most commonly snarked BSC books I have seen on here, and the truth is that I already snarked it years ago on my old account. So why am I re-snarking this book, especially since so many other snarks already exist? Well, first off, because my old snark was weak. It was much more of a hate and vitriol fest and much less of a snark, and a lot of people got upset with that. And second, because this book now has a personal significance to me that it did not have when I snarked it on my old account back in 2012.

In 2013, when I was 20, I was given an official diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome (now known as plain old autism spectrum disorder). I was told that it was a more severe case of Aspergers that leaned more towards moderate-to-high-functioning autism than merely Aspergers (this was shortly before the DSM change that removed Aspergers and the functioning labels). The truth is that I was suspected to be on the spectrum since I was in elementary school, but when I did the snark the first time, since I did not have an official diagnosis it did not feel right to say that I was autistic or that I felt a sense of relation to Susan (though she is of course more severe on the spectrum than me, there is still that sense of relation in the things like the stimming, the social impairment, fixations and perseverating, etc). She and I did many of the same things and behaved in some of the same ways, but I couldn't have known back then that it is because I am also autistic, though on another part of the spectrum. I guess that's why I was so vitriolic when I snarked this the first time, though I couldn't put my finger on it then. Now, on account of all the research and reading and information I've received since my diagnosis, I can understand this book on an entirely new, personal level. And I can understand exactly why Kristy and the other characters in this book behaved so fucking despicably.

And knowing is half the battle.Collapse )
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Has Anyone Snarked this one yet? [Apr. 18th, 2015|09:47 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

merylfan2
I realize it's not really a Baby Sitters Club series book, but it is a Karen book. It's called Karen's Accident. I don't have a copy (though if I did I think I'd do very well at snarking, BSC irritates the hell out of me so this club is a Godsend!) so I was hoping perhaps someone in this club would have already snarked it. Basically, Karen's teacher, the lacking Ms. Coleman does some kind of lesson about a figure skater and Karen goes into her tree house to pretend she's the skater. Anyway, it's snowy and she falls out of her tree house, ruptures her spleen, has surgery, and ORGAN-izes (like what I did there?) a toy drive for the hospital playroom. Never read it, but it's a Karen and Karen gets hurt, so it's bound to be utterly snarkable! If anyone knows of a snark for this book, or even is considering it, please let me know, because I'd love to see it. Thanks, Kaye!
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Baby-sitters on Board! Part 4! [Apr. 16th, 2015|09:09 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

road_baby
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[Current Location |bed]
[Current Mood |goodgood]
[Current Music |Around the World-Daft Punk]

Greetings, my lovelies! How's it going with thee? Me? I nearly had a heart attack because my laptop died in the middle of writing this stupid thing. But everything was saved so thank goodness I didn't have to redo a bunch of it. Besides my laptop being shite, things are going okay. It's getting really hot though which is always a devil bitch. I seriously need to leave this state for good and for all. So, let's all sweat in our underwear and let's go!

Part 1!         Part 2!         Part 3!

-Song of the Day!-

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BSC SUPER SPECIAL #7: SNOWBOUND OR TIME TO WRAP THIS SH*T UP!! THE END!!! [Apr. 16th, 2015|02:51 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

bleeding_thorn2
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[Current Mood |accomplished]

BSC SUPER SPECIAL #7: SNOWBOUND OR TIME TO WRAP THIS SH*T UP!! THE END!!!

First, thank you always for reading and commenting!! I see some new folks commenting and I thank you too!!! Warms my cynic heart, I tell you!! You guys are forever awesome!!!

Now, it’s time to wrap this piece of crap book up and move on!!! I swear NOTHING happens in most of this; hopefully the last few chapters will be snarkworthy. Be prepared snarkers, it’s gonna get LOUD!!! And long!!! Enjoy!!!

As always; I have Al Bundy on standby in case I need him to deal with the stupid people?  Ready Al?

And for those who may think I’m crazy, I have only this to say:

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Next up:Collapse )

Thanks again you guys, and I’ll see you soon!!
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BSC SUPER SPECIAL #7 SNOWBOUND OR DEAR GOD, THIS BOOK IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! PART 5! [Apr. 15th, 2015|04:18 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

bleeding_thorn2
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[Current Mood |aggravatedaggravated]

BSC SUPER SPECIAL #7 SNOWBOUND OR DEAR GOD, THIS BOOK IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! PART 5!

This book is gonna drive me crazy, I can feel it, but since you guys have been so amazing to me, I’ll press on. As long as the Pepsi and ice cream hold out anyway. So, let’s get this started!! Warning: this is really short, because literally NOTHING HAPPENS IN THESE NEXT COUPLE CHAPTERS!!!

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I’M SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT COMPARED TO MY RECENT ENTRIES, BUT THERE’S NOTHING HERE!!! I HOPE I DIDN’T BURN OUT TO EARLY!!! MORE WILL BE UP SOON, I PROMISE!!!  
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Kristy and the Mother's Day Surprise Part 2 [Apr. 14th, 2015|05:25 pm]
Baby-sitters Club Snark-fest!

Danielle Denenberg
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Here's the next four chapters of this wonderfulness. Read and review!

Chapter 5
Yay Claudia handwriting. She’s sitting for the Newton kiddies and has an idea for the outing! She sees a flier for a carnival in a playground hanging on the fridge. Jamie sadly tells Claudia that his parents can’t take him. But they taunt him by hanging the flier up in plain sight! How nice. “Oh, Jamie, there’s a carnival in town, and we’re gonna let you look at the flier with the picture of the balloon seller that you want to see and see it every time you get a drink, but it’s for looking only!” Unless… maybe the BSC will take you, they raise you anyway! And since this is 1989, it will probably be affordable.
Claudia shares a sweet story about how when she was younger, she missed out on the circus because she had the chicken pox, but Mimi took her the next week. I love Mimi.
Mrs. Newton conveniently arrives home right at 5:15. How does this always work out so perfectly? K.Ron probably called Jamie’s school, where Mrs. N was at a meeting, and threatened a slow and painful death if they kept Mrs. Newton there long enough for Claud to have to miss the meeting. No, I really wouldn’t be surprised if this occurred. Claud races to the meeting to share the news of the carnival. Wee!

Chapter 6
K.Ron came to the meeting early because she begged Charlie to bring her early. She said her next step was to bend down and plead, but we all know the next step would have been to force Kool-Aid down his throat, tie him into the driver’s seat of the Junk Bucket, and hold a gun to his head until he starts the car.
Claudia shares her news and the rest of the Cult acts as if she just announced that Trevor Sandbourne proposed to her. They all start chattering at once, about fees, and limiting the kids to three activities each, and how it will get boring to be at the carnival all day (well, duh, if they can only do three things what are they going to do for the rest of the day?) Plus, is it really necessary to take the kids for the whole day? They’re already doing the town a ginormous favor. Of course when Mal starts to give input she is interrupted by the phone.
Kristy has everyone raise their hand if they think the idea is a good one, Dawn doesn’t raise her hand, Kristy questions her, and Dawn is all “this isn’t a good plan, it’s an awesome one.” I guess this is just her being an “individual” again. Her individual trait is to be lame as hell. She should be proud.
They discuss which kids to invite. Kristy makes a huge deal when Mary Anne suggests Jenny. She actually yells, “Oh, ew! Ew, EW! Jenny is so spoiled.” Over-dramatic much? It’s Jenny, not Joe Stalin. Also, it occurred to me: When I was little, I hated getting dirty and I liked wearing nice clothes. So I guess the Colt would have hated me too. Also, is Karen not like, the most spoiled child to walk this Earth? But whatever. This rant could be an essay.
The total number of kids is twenty-nine. Twenty fucking nine. These bitches are in way over their heads, but at least they have the logic to realize that. This is the point where I would have said, “Fuck this. I don’t owe the neighborhood parents anything. Let’s just take our own siblings out.” But they just hope that not everyone comes (I would laugh hysterically if all twenty nine kids were available), and decide to call up Stacey to come to their aid. Stacey is able to come. Can’t snark this. My best friend lives several states away and any time one of us is able to visit each other, we act like dogs who just got a quart of bacon in their dishes.

Chapter 7
It’s a nice day outside and all the kids at the Brewer-Thomas mansion are outside playing. Kristy decides to go stalk Bart’s house. She says they sort of like each other even though they don’t go to the same school. That’s a little puzzling. Why do you have to go to the same school to like each other? You know each other, that’s what counts. K-Ron returns home and forces her siblings to practice for Krushers practice, even though it’s their Saturday afternoon and their free time. Kristy starts telling us how well David Michael’s softball skills have gotten thanks to her, but then internally snarks him for missing an easy underhand hit. Such a devoted sister and coach.
Elizabeth comes out of the house, waving the Mother’s Day Surprise invitation and crying. She really is acting pregnant. She finds a tissue in her sleeve and wipes her nose with it. Um, okay? Who else gets dressed in the morning and remembers to put a tissue in their shirt before leaving the house? K-Ron again asks if Liz is knocked up, and she again says no but asks how K-Ron would feel about a brother or a sister. I feel like this is such a useless question. She and Watson already have the adoption plan, clearly, and they’ve been on the phone all day. It doesn’t sound the kids’ opinions even matter. Clearly, since more than half of them were opposed to the idea. This is the kind of thing you discuss before you make the adoption commitment. Then again, if this were a realistic international adoption, they wouldn’t even be able to adopt Emily for over a year, which would give plenty of time to discuss it. But this is just yet another thing that Ann knows nothing about.
Liz thinks this will be a such a nice rest for her. It doesn’t seem like she needs much of a rest today, when the kids are not out of the house. Kristy pretty much parents them most of the time, or they independently play out in the yard, as they are doing here. What is there to be stressed out about? And if I recall, when Emily comes, Nannie and Kristy do most of the child rearing. So I’m not sure what Liz is so thrilled about.
Watson lets Elizabeth know that there’s another phone call, “an important one” and Liz jumps up to go to it. I really think I would have caught on to the adoption thing by now. Mama asking about a sibling but she’s not pregnant, asking about a brother or sister but not necessarily a baby, and all these phone calls. Even at 13, I would suspect this.
After Liz leaves, Kristy asks the sibs how they are doing. Why doesn’t Elizabeth ask about the well-being of her own children? Why must Kristy be the caretaker all the time? I’m 22 and my mom is still constantly asking how I’m doing. The kids begin an intense fight about how Brewers love Brewers more (thus Watson must favor Karen and Andrew) and Thomases love Thomases more (thus Lizzy favors David Michael.) This is really sad, and normal for confused young kids in a blended family. It’s really sad that the parents are so oblivious to this.

Chapter 8
Conveniently, cause this is BSC land, exactly twenty-one kids can come to the outing, leaving three kids per sitter. They spend a sad amount of time dividing the kids into groups that will cater to everyone’s needs (Becca and Charlotte together, Karen and Andrew together but away from David Michael, Jenny with Mary Anne because everyone else is too much of assholes to have her in their group). This really isn’t necessary. They want certain children away from each other (like Nicky and Claire), but even though they’re in groups, they’re all going to walk there together, and be together for lunch, and later for two hours at Claudia’s. But, whatever, they make groups, then they analyze them. They have some weird combinations, like Shea with Karen and Andrew, but at least they acknowledge it. I think Shea would be perfect in Jessi’s group (Matt, Haley, and Nicky Pike), but they “reason” that Jessi’s group is “perfect the way it is.” If you will. Let Shea be with kids way younger than him. Why do I even care?
Mary Anne exclaims, “God this is exciting!” And… it really isn’t. You’re taking a bunch of children to a carnival. As I’ve mentioned, it’s a typical weekend for you, and as they later mention, they’ve done “big projects” (or, forced activities) like this before.
Jessi is excited to meet Stacey. She thinks it’s weird that she lives in her old house and sleeps in her old bedroom and has never met her. That’s not unusual, Jessi. I don’t even the name or gender of whoever used to have my bedroom before I did. Not weird.
Stacey calls. Everyone has a turn to speak to her, and when K.Ron has her turn, all she can do is talk about the neighborhood children. Because, of course. K.Ron, your interest in the neighborhood children has grown into an extremely unhealthy obsession. This is an especially unhealthy obsession for a thirteen year old girl. Please, get another hobby. Please.
Okay, she does have another obsession, and that is, describing her friends’ looks and clothes in erotic novel detail. “I was just as excited as Claudia about seeing our blonde-haired, blue-eyed, super-sophisticated former treasurer.” Does anyone else find this sentence extremely creepy and weird? Oh, and there we go again with the overuse, and misuse, of the word sophisticated.
This is all I can tolerate for now. More next week. 
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